BAM!

It just hit me that I'm actually leaving. Except it really wasn't a BAM sort-a moment. I just started thinking realistically what life would be like in 10 days when I'm in Chile. I also started talking to my host sister again, and it makes everything feel even more real. Everyone tells me "you must be so exited!" and I nod. They say "you are going to have so much fun!" and I nod. But in actuality, I have so many mixed emotions that I can't even tell them apart anymore. I feel almost numb. I'm sure once I get there I will have "so much fun", but I cannot predict how anything will be in Chile, or how I will feel. At all.
   
It will probably be cool for todos de ustedes to see my magical transformation, but to tell you the truth it'll be hell. My whole life I have known what to expect and how to plan for it. I'm just that kind of person. But now I haven't a clue what on earth I have gotten myself into. Don't get me wrong, it's that good kind of hell that will make me stronger, and make me have the best time of my life. I have to deal with the rough seas and you, reading this from your metaphorical-couch-in-life do not. But I also get to experience all the great stuff they have at the end of hell. All the things that you (sorry) will never get because you are not me. Even if you go on exchange, your experience will be sooo much different than mine.

Enjoy every moment.