Now is The Good

After my last blog post, I realized that it really must seem like my life really sucks all the time. Some youth exchange ambassador I am! So, first I just wanted you to know that my life is pretty good most of the time. But when it's good, it just feels normal. But when I'm having a bad day, I feel the urge to document my sorrow. For what reason? I'm not really sure. 

So, even though I find myself in the heat of the end of the semester, with upcoming finals and miles of homework, I found myself enjoying this week quite a lot. I seem to be getting back into the groove of things. My friends laugh at things I find funny, and I don't feel left out of the loop. They're sweet. And actually, I find myself enjoying the full swing of school and full IB. It's hard, but it's also engaging. My classes are far more interesting than anything that I've had in a while. I'm a nerd, and it's a lost cause, but I really like school at the moment. 

It's also nice to be home. Do I miss Chile? Yes. of course. But do I wish I wasn't here, in the place I've spent now almost 16 of my 17 years in? Watching the snow fall down and being in control of almost my entire life? With traditions I understand now more than ever? No, I don't. It's nice to be back. 

I had a presentation for my Rotary Club this past Wednesday. It went well. Here's the link to the powerpoint I used below. 

https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1tbAwNKyye0lauQL94fwTbjmoyqAqOw4BEmOyHl8gXms/edit?usp=sharing 

The Irrational

I was working on my presentation for my Rotary club here in South Bend, and I looked up my Chilean district to try and find pictures. I found YEP, which is what they call RYE there, and I looked and I saw photos of us, the district's exchange students.

Only when I clicked the picture to see it up close and to download it, I realized that those faces staring back at me were not the ones I knew. They were not us. They were the next group. The people there now. Which makes perfect sense, why would they not be the people on the website? They've been there for like half a year.

However, I had the sudden urge to cry. I guess it just hit me that it's over. You know? Like its actually over. And it's been over. The world has kept spinning. I'm glad that there are new kids who have the opportunity to experience what we did... but these last few months have just seemed like a continuation of my exchange. I'm doing something else for awhile, and then I'll go back. Back to Chile. And all my exchange friends will be waiting in Chile for me. Barely having aged a day.
But, like, I just realized that that's not true. They're all at home. Living their lives, and having their own culture shocks, in their own countries. Changing, and growing, and it'll never be the same. I'll never be in Patagonia jumping on a boat, or watching the sunset on Easter Island. I'll never be with all those losers again.

But duh, Willow.
That's a stupid thought. Why would you just expect the world to freeze and wait for your return???
Time goes on and you're only an ant trying to keep up with it.

But some part inside of me is extremely irrational. And no matter how hard I try, I cannot stop it from thinking otherwise.